I Am Not The Social Butterfly You Think I Am
A chat with a co-worker of mine led me to ponder deeply about how others perceive me. It’s so funneh!
Apparently, I first come off (to them) as a party girl. Lol! The kind of gal who parties all night and sleeps days and whatever. That’s so far off the true me. I can’t even sleep at daytime and I don’t even go to clubs or anything (coz I get a major culture shock.) First time to enter a club was last year and I’m almost 28. ^_^
But if you’ve known me a long time, you would know that:
1. I grew up in a box, having my own world.
I was never allowed to go out of the house except to school until I was out of college. My friends in college would ask me to go with them to clubs and whatever but I’m the only one who wouldn’t go. ^_^ I can even count the times my parents brought me to the mall. Honest.
2. My dad is strict and quite conservative.
My sister and I were raised inside the home quite disciplined. It’s only recently that he became less of a critic and authoritarian.
3. I am not a social butterfly.
Contrary to what people believe, I do not have many real friends and I can never keep up with having many friends. I may know many people, but I can’t socialize for long. This is partly why I go out only once a month. And if you do see me socializing, it would be online. Nerd? Yeah. Lol.
4. Going out more than one day a month burns me out. I’m a day person.
The mere act of going out exhausts me. Going out for a night a month makes me sleepy the whole month. It takes me like 2 weeks to recover from being up all night.
5. Some people are disturbing.
I have this thing with people, that everytime I see them doing something mean or really rude, I tend to withdraw from all socializing activities. Call me crazy. Like I could give a fish.
6. I babble and smile a lot when I’m nervous.
I smile a lot, making people think I’m cheerful and all that. But truth is, I’m shy and nervous around people I don’t know. I start to talk a lot about anything to fill the conversational void coz it makes me tense. Then I smile to hide the thumping of my heart, scared I might make a fool out of myself, which is why people think I’m a ditz. I am not used to people ever since I was a kid but I do try my best to be friendly and fun.
7. I usually meet my friends (even the closest ones) only once a year.
8. I only found two people with whom I can spend long periods of time comfortably.
One is my sister, whom I’ve known since the day she was born.
Second is a man I met last October. He’s tattooed, he grew up in LA. We have things in common when it comes to love, loyalty, beliefs and experiences in life, but he’s very, very different from me. He’s badass and I’m ditzy (he says.) He’s fearless and I’m a scaredy cat. But he fits me like a perfect puzzlepiece. We lived life simply, relaxing at home, with me snuggled up against him, or him singing to me. But even doing the simplest of things with him made time fly so fast —- But this is for another blog entry. I’m getting carried away. Lol! (Mygosh, I hope he never gets to read this. It would be too embarassing!!!)
9. I am generally nice and try to be friendly with people, but
10. I prefer being alone. Like 90% of the time.
I shop alone. I go home alone. I walk alone. I go to church alone. Hey I even have lunch alone! Even at home I prefer being alone, locked up in my room or in the attic, reading a book, playing musical instruments, drawing, listening to music, surfing online. I don’t enjoy being around people much, only once in a veeerrrrrry long while. And this is prolly why I make a lot of faux pas. Heh.
Dude, I am not weird. This is just me.
So I was wondering.. What did you think of me the first time you met me, friend?